уторак, 17. новембар 2009.

Deciji biseri 1 - Childrens pearls - part 1

Julije Cezar je poznat po svom telegramu - Veni, Vidi, Viči.

Na Marsu ima života. Ali to je samo hipotenuza.

Švajcarske krave koriste se pretežno za pravljenje čokolade.

Stanovnici Sardinije zovu se Sardine.

Geografska dužina i širina su vrlo korisne. Pretpostavimo da se čovek davi. Dovoljno je da vikne na kojoj je širini i dužini i mi ga možemo naći.

Da bi se bila dobra medicinska sestra, mora biti potpuno sterilna.

Lekari kažu da su smrtonosne bolesti najgore.

Kad se moj mlađi brat rodio morali su ga staviti u akumulator.

Ko je bio Njegoš?
To je onaj tip sa dedine penzije.

Leptir je insekat iz porodice helikoptera.

Najkorisnija životinja je svinja. Od nje možemo da upotrebimo sve, meso od spreda i pozadi, kožu za cipele, čekinje za četke i ime za psovanje!

Zoološki vrt je super stvar. Tamo možemo da vidimo i životinje koje ne postoje.

Nisam kršten, ali sam zato vakcinisan.

Životno osiguranje je novac koji dobije onaj koji preživi smrtni slučaj.

Ne znam koliko imam godina, to se stalno menja.

Veoma sam se uplašio kad se mama razbolela. Pomislio sam da će nam tata kuvati.

Svi psi vole vodu. Neki čak toliko da u njoj i žive. To su morski psi.

Akvarijum je malo stakleno more gde žive domaće ribe.

Alimentacija je plata za decu kada im se tata odseli.

Usvajanje je mnogo bolja mogućnost od rađanja. Tako roditelji mogu sami da izaberu dete i ne moraju da prihvate baš onoga koga su dobili.

Sve ribe nose jaja, a ruske čak i kavijar.

Krave ne smeju da brzo trče da ne bi prosule mleko.

Tokom nedelje Bog živi u raju. Samo nedeljom dođe u crkvu.

Muškarac ne može da se venča sa muškarcem, jer onda niko ne bi mogao da obuče venčanicu.

Kod nas svako ima svoju sobu, samo tata ne. On mora da spava kod mame.

Kod nas muškarci mogu da se ožene samo sa jednom ženom. To se zove monotonija.

Zemlja se okreće 365 dana svake godine. Zato treba svake godine jedan dan više, pa se to obračunava u februaru. Zašto je to tako, ne znam. Možda zato, jer je u februaru uvek jako hladno i to ide malo tvrđe.

Moja sestra je jako bolesna. Svakog dana pojede po jednu pilulu. To krije od roditelja, da se oni ne bi uplašili.

Krug je okrugao kvadrat.

Kajsija je kao jabuka sa tepihom.

Brat i ja smo danas pojeli celu teglu marmelade. Večeras ćemo dobiti ili proliv ili batine!

Kada se mama i tata zaključaju u spavaću sobu, ja narednih sat vremena mogu da radim šta hoću. Što ja volim taj seks!

Ne razumem zašto se mama toliko ljuti što smo razbili vazu. Ionako je bila stara i kineska, a ne naša!

Moja sestra je opet položila razred sa odličnim uspehom, sve same petice. Ona to meni namerno radi!

U televizoru rade mali ljudi, a u radiju njihova deca!

Baka nam je otišla na onaj svet. Sad i mi imamo nekog u inostranstvu!

Mami i tati je danas godišnjica braka. To svi znamo osim tate!

Pitao sam tatu zbog čega on brije bradu a mama noge. Rekao je da se svako brije onde gde ga ljudi gledaju. Gde ja onda da se brijem.

Tata je odrastao na selu. On je kravu video uživo!

Ja se ne svađam s roditeljima. Nisu moj nivo.

Kad se mama posvađala s tatom, prvi put sam video leteće tanjire.

Crvi ne grizu jer imaju rep i napred i nazad.

Proleće je prvo godišnje doba. U proleće kokoške nose jaja, a seljaci krompir.

U Francuskoj su nekad pogubljenja kriminalaca izvodili želatinom.

Čak i dečaci imaju da kažu nešto zanimljivo ako ih dovoljno dugo slušaš.

Za devojčice je bolje da se ne udaju, ali dečacima treba neko ko će da čisti.

Severni pol se okreće u suprotnom pravcu od južnog.

Umetnička klizačica je izvela svoju piruetu, a pri tom su joj vlastiti vetrovi digli suknjicu.

Moja tetka je imala tako jake bolove u zglobovima, da je ruke mogla dignuti samo malo iznad glave. I sa nogama je imala isto takve probleme.

Kad su ljudi prestali biti majmuni, postali su Egipčani.

ŠTA JE TO LJUBAV? Ljubav je kad ti drnda srce!

KAKO SE ZOVU LJUDI ŠTO ŽIVE NA SELU? Seoci.

KAKO SE ZOVE ČOVEK KOJI RADI NA PUMPI? Benzioner.

KAKO IZGLEDA NEKO KO SE ZALJUBI? Pa moraš da se naparfimišeš, da se obriješ, da uzimaš žilet i napraviš ovako kosu kao jež, da izgledaš kao frajer i da imaš zlatan zub!

DA LI VOLIŠ ŽIVOTINJE? Naravno da volim…pile, prase. Krilce od pileta mi se najviše sviđa!

ŠTA RADI MATIČAR? Uči decu matematici. Matičar je kao neki čovek što ispituje mlade.

ŠTA JE TO STJUARDESA? Stjuardesa služi ljude u avionu da ne bi oboleli od gladi.




Julius Caesar was known for his letter - Veni, vidi, vici.

Mars has life. But that's just hypotenuse.

Swiss cows are used mainly for making chocolate.

The inhabitants of Sardinia are called sardines.

Geographical length and width are very helpful. Suppose that a man is drowning. It is enough that screamed in which the width and length, and we can find it.

In order to be a good nurse, must be completely sterile.

Doctors say that the worst of the deadly disease.

When my younger brother was born they had to put in the battery.

Who was Njegoš?
This is the guy with the grandfather's pension.

Butterfly is the insect in the family helicopter.

The most useful animal is a pig. From it we can use all the meat from the front and rear, leather for shoes, bristles for brushes and a name for swearing?

The zoo is a great thing. There we can see the animals that do not exist.

I'm not baptized, but because I have vaccinations.

Life insurance is money that gets one that survives death.

I do not know how many years I have, it is constantly changing.

I was very scared when the mother fell ill. I thought that our dad cook.

All dogs love the water. Some even enough to live in it. These are sea dogs.

Is a small glass aquarium inhabited by local sea fish.

Alimony paid to children when their dad stayed.

Adoption is a much better possibility of procreation. So parents can choose their own child and not have to just accept him whom they have received.

All fish carry the eggs, and even Russian caviar.

Cows are not allowed to run quickly to avoid spilled milk.

During the week, God lives in heaven. Just come to church on Sundays.

A man can not marry a man, because then no one could put wedding.

In our country everyone has his room, not just Dad. He has to sleep with mom.

In our men can get married only one wife. This is called monotony.

The country is turning 365 days each year. So should every year one day more, and it is calculated in February. Why is it so I do not know. Perhaps because, as always in February, very cold and it goes a little harder.

My sister is very sick. Every day eat one pill. To hide from parents that they would not be afraid.

The circle is round the square.

Apple apricot as a carpet.

Brother and I are still eating a whole jar of marmalade. Tonight we get or diarrhea, or beaten!

When Mom and Dad locked the bedroom, the next hour I can do what I want. I like the sex!

I do not understand why a mother so angry that we broke the vase. Anyway, it was old and the Chinese, not ours!

My sister was again passed the class with honors, all-fives. It is intentional to me!

In the TV working little people, and radio their children!

Grandma we went to the world. Now we have an overseas!

Mom and dad's wedding anniversary today. We all know that unless dad!

I asked my dad why he shaves his beard and mom legs. He said that every shave just where people look at it. Where I then to shave.

My dad grew up in rural areas. He saw a cow live!

I do not quarrel with the parents. Not my level.

When mom argued with my father, the first time I've seen flying saucers.

Worms do not bite because they have a tail and the front and back.

Spring is the first season. In the spring of chickens carrying eggs, and potato farmers.

In France, once performed executions of criminals gelatin.

Even boys have something interesting to say if you listen long enough.

For girls it's better not to marry, but the boys need someone who will clean.

North Pole is turning in the opposite direction from the south.

Skater Art staged its spin, while at the same time as the winds blew up her own skirt.

My aunt had such severe pain in the joints, the hands could lighten just a little above his head. And with my legs had just such problems.

When people stop being monkeys, they have become Egyptians.

WHAT IS LOVE? Love is when you drnda heart!

What they are called THE PEOPLE LIVING IN THE VILLAGE? Seoci.

What is THAT MAN IS THE PUMPS? Benzioner.

How does someone fall in love? So you have to naparfimišeš, to obriješ that you take this razor blade and make your hair like hedgehog to look like a guy and you got gold teeth!

Do you like animals? Of course ... I like chicken, pig. Wing of the chicken we like the most?

WHAT IS registrar? Teaches children math. The registrar is like a man, which examines young people.

WHAT IS stewardess? Stewardess serving people on the plane that would not be suffering from hunger.

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